"Pretty please, Lex? With my cherry on top?"

"I don't care if you're gay, Son. I just don't want to see you get hurt. Before I met your mother, Lionel dumped me and broke my heart. That's why I distrust the Luthors so much."

Click here for more of Jonathan and Lionel.

The things I do to fulfill Lex's fantasies . . .
OR
Damn! Lex is right; I *do* look good in leather.

"Ow. Um, Lex? Ow. I hadn't thought of this before, but it's possible we're not physically compatible."

"I don't care how 'invulnerable' you are.
No action back here for at least two weeks."

"They were right! Do it too much,
and your hand *will* stay like that."

Lex stopped dreaming in color after the meteorite. Sometimes it was almost a surprise when he saw Clark in person, and he wasn't in shades of gray.
OR
"Do these pants make me look fat, Lex?"

"Okay Lex, I've got the rubber gloves
and the extra-large condom. Now what?"